Mental Health and Ranching: Why You Should Dig Up the Family History Book
How to approach the mental health conversation.
Mental health has gained a stronger foothold in agriculture in the past five years and as ranchers we need to continue giving the topic space in our conversations. Lauren Van Ewyk and Bridgette Readel are two individuals setting an example for how to give the mental health topic more space and presence online and in-person through their podcast The Rural Well and the National Farmer Mental Health Alliance.
Bridgette says, “I do see an elevated awareness yet recently I spoke to a group in North Dakota who told me I was the first to speak about rural mental health in their county.”
At first, the topic might seem heavy or challenging to discuss but understanding the impacts of mental health, signs and methods of improvement all make the conversation easier to have.
What Impacts Mental Health
There are no limits on what impacts an individual’s mental health. From personal experiences, volatile markets and unpredictable weather to traumatic experiences from generations prior mental health can be impacted.
“It’s important to remember that the person is not the problem, the problem is the problem,” says Lauren.
One influential factor that is often unrecognized is how our ancestors processed their experiences which could have resulted in transferred trauma or generational trauma. Many immigrants started farming in the United Sates in state of survival mode where every decision was based on how to keep their family alive. Constant survival mode can result in overused resilience which can cost relationships.
Lauren says, “The reality of generational trauma is we are impacted whether we agree to be or not.” This trauma is passed down through epigenetics and can be passed down four or five generations.
Signs of trauma may be hidden or presented in ways we might not expect. Bridgette says, “Trauma has often been hidden by the acceptable and excessive use of alcohol, abuse and farm accidents that weren’t really accidents.”
Trauma can be held, transferred or transformed but first needs to be normalized. Lauren says, “66% of the American population has experienced trauma and that doesn’t include the homeless or those in the child welfare system." The most important piece to remember about trauma is each experience can be valuable to our stories and how we help others. Recognizing this is a part of transforming trauma.
Declining Mental Health Signs
The signs of strong or poor mental health vary from individual to individual but the three main categories to look at are big changes in emotion, behavioral changes and self-harm. Mental health first aid trainings are one way to learn how to look for these signs and gain confidence in addressing them.
It’s not just on spouses, friends and neighbors to look for these signs. Bridgette notes that trainings are being incorporated in both youth farm safety days and continuing education for supporting industries such as feed and seed dealers, ag lenders and rural clergy.
Lauren also likes to bring awareness to alternative stories which are a person’s indirect way of sharing what’s bothering them. She says, “A farmer might share with me that he is stressed about the weather, the crop is below average, his wife is sick and the markets are all over the place. The alternative story is that his wife is sick and that’s what I ask about.”
Having the ability to pick up on alternative stories can be helpful to both you and the other individual.
Having the Mental Health Conversation
When we care about someone, it can add an extra weight leading up to a conversation, especially if we are concerned about saying the wrong thing. Lauren and Bridgette encourage others to consider location, curiosity and validation before starting the conversation.
Bridgette says, “I like to make sure I am in a location where they are comfortable. This might be a barn, pasture or buddy seat.” A little added comfort can add ease to the conversation.
Curiosity helps us ask the right questions, which are open-ended questions that can’t be answered with yes, no or fine.
Examples can include:
Tell me about….
Help me understand more about….
Validation helps the other individual feel seen and heard. Lauren says, “Validation is the missing link in many of these conversations.” It isn’t necessarily agreeing with the other person, but it is acknowledging what they are sharing and feeling. It is a mutual respect for each other even if you see things differently.
Lauren says, “Authentic resilience requires us to be willing to share in one another's struggles. We can't heal it if we don't feel it, which means it is ok to sit with our hard emotions, and share with others who also have had to do hard things in life. The real goal is to not stay there, but to grow, to learn from others and find the support and plan that allows you to thrive again!”
How to Improve Mental Health
Improving mental health, like the signs varies from person to person and farmers can improve right from the farm if they want.
“Farmers are fixers by nature. Once we have the tools, we fix it,” says Lauren. When she works with her clients, she finds that many of them only require a couple of sessions to address what’s going on and find the right tools to help them fix the problem.
These tools and processes can look like decreasing stress through farm-related activities, creating boundaries with family and friends, working on where and how to have business conversations versus family conversations and connecting with others who are or have gone through similar struggles.
If you want to help others who you notice are struggling remember to listen and sit in silence even if it is uncomfortable. In many cases, a listening and nonjudgemental ear helps more than we realize. If you yourself are struggling, there are people in and outside of the ag industry willing to listen and help you thrive again.
RESOURCES
Agri-stress helpline – 833-897-2474
National Farmers’ Mental Health Alliance
The Angel Network
